So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. John 16:22
The first few days and weeks, months really, after losing your husband are so very difficult. Each day seemed excruciatingly long, and doing simple things seemed to take monumental effort for me. I don’t remember much about those days; they are like a blur now. Nights were terrifying. After my put my kids to bed, I had no idea what to do with myself. Normally, that was the time I looked forward to the most. Without my husband though, I was lost.
Those days or nights when you have meltdowns or panic attacks. Those moments when the tears won’t stop coming down or you feel like you can barely breathe – reach out to someone. Many of your friends and family will not reach out to you because they don’t want to bother you and they honestly aren’t sure what to say. But many of them would love to be there for you if you just pick up the phone and call them. Find people, friends, family, or another woman from your church who you can call in those moments. You don’t have to say anything. They don’t have to say anything. It just helps to have someone on the other end of a phone so you know you’re not alone. Ladies, hear me out. Satan will whisper lies in your ear when you’re trying to go to sleep or when you’re alone. He will tell you that God doesn’t love you or that God has left you alone or that God is not really good. Resist these lies by speaking the truth of Scripture to yourself (see list of verses below.) Fight back by picking up the phone and knowing there’s someone (preferably have more than one lady, relative, or friend in case one is unavailable) real with you, listening to you and crying with you. There were nights when I broke down and picked up the phone and called my best friend. I didn’t have anything to say; I just cried. She was there to just sit with me, encourage me, and most importantly, to remind me I’m not alone. Sometimes, that’s the best news of all.
- Joshua 1:9: Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
- Deuteronomy 31:6: Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.
- John 16:33: I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
- Isaiah 43:2: When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.
- Isaiah 41:10: fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.