I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:12-13
Today, I’m just going to encourage you, sweet friend. One of the hardest things about losing Trevor was losing his encouragement and the knowledge that someone believed in me. On the days when none of the children seemed to cooperate in homeschool, he would remind me why we were doing it. On the days when a child was being particularly difficult, he would tell me again what a great job I was doing. To go without your husband’s support is so, so difficult. That’s why I’m going to do it today. You can save this and read it anytime you need to.
Sweet friend, motherhood is tough. Single motherhood is tougher. You are doing a fabulous job! I don’t care if you’re not wearing makeup, you haven’t brushed your teeth or your hair, and you’re still in your bathrobe. And it’s afternoon. If you got out of the bed today to take care of your kids, good for you! If you’re taking your kids to church or school or extracurricular activities like soccer and dance, you’re doing awesome! All moms juggle a lot of different tasks, but as single moms, we must juggle so many more. We must chauffeur the kids to their activities. We must make the meals and do the laundry. We must help with all the homework or lessons. We are also the sole disciplinarian, jar opener, door unlocker, conflict mediator, bedtime tucker inner, making them take a bath reminder, counselor, and so much more. It’s exhausting, but if you do anything, dwell on the things you accomplish each day. There will always be things you don’t get done; let it go! (Picture me singing the song way off-key to you!) Celebrate the things you do get done. Remember there will always be laundry to fold and dishes to do, but there won’t always be kids to play with and read to. There won’t always be kids who desperately need you to listen to them because you’re all they’ve got now. So stop and listen and just let the dishes and laundry and messes sit. We’ll never say we wished we’d spent more time doing chores.
There may be days when you just want to stay in bed or hide. I’m here to tell you that if you’re feeding and clothing your kids, you’re doing a great job! You love your kids and you should be celebrated for that! Just putting one foot in front of the other after you lose your other half is terribly arduous. To take care of others and pour into them on top of that…you’re doing an amazing job and you are amazing! Your kids may tell you they hate you for not letting them play the ipad. They may not appreciate you making them practice their spelling words again. They may be upset you only let them do one activity instead of 3. They may complain about your cooking. So I’m here to say, “You go, girl! You rock!” So turn up that 90’s music or country music or whatever floats your boat, and jam as you heat up their chicken nuggets or fold their underwear! Because you are doing awesome! We serve a great God, and although he may seem silent at times, he’s the one giving you the strength to get up each day and keep going. He’s the one that will empower you to do this single mom thing. In all honesty, he’s the only one who can.
Remember, no matter how you feel, you are never alone and you are always deeply loved. There will be days when you feel horribly incapable of fulfilling your new role in life. Rest assured, the God who placed you in this season will not leave you to go it alone. He will be beside you every step of the way, and he will give you the strength you need to do what he has called you to do. So today, I am here to remind you that you can do this. You are doing this. You’ve got this because He’s got this. Embrace this chapter of life. No, it’s not what we wanted, and it’s certainly not what we would have chosen, but this life can still be beautiful because he is making all things new.