“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.’” John 8:31-32
There are so many lies we feel in our hearts when we lose our husbands. There are more lies that Satan feeds us in the dark, lonely nights. You’re alone. You’re not loved anymore. You can’t do this. You have no hope. God must not love you. God isn’t good. They’re like hammers falling on your soul. You question everything you’ve ever believed, but then the Holy Spirit steps in and reminds you that he’s still there. He brings Scripture to mind to combat the lies. It still takes so long for your heart to feel what your brain knows to be true. Jeremiah 17 says that the heart is deceitful above all things. In the days, weeks, months, and years following the loss of your husband, don’t be lead by your heart. It’s a message fed to us by a crooked and twisted society, but let me be clear. Your heart will lead you into some bad places, some godless places, some destructive places. Instead, be lead by the truth of God’s Word. Pray and seek God and wrestle with Him and cry out to Him until your heart starts to believe the things you know in your head. Once this happens, God will do a liberating work in our lives that will allow us to live fully and abundantly again, even in a season we never thought we’d be in. Even though we find ourselves navigating different waters than we ever imagined.
Abiding. It’s so difficult when your heart hurts so much. It’s a struggle, a battle really. There’s a lot at stake. Your future. The futures of your children. Fight on, sister! Don’t give up. Keep pressing into the only one who can bring hope. If we can figure out how to abide in the Lord even in the middle of the dark valley, we can experience a peace like no other. Ann Voskamp says, “Peace isn’t a place to arrive at but a person to abide in.” It’s the reason why we could have a peace despite great pain and great uncertainty in our lives. And what kind of a beautiful testimony is that to a lost and dying world! When Christians suffer well, it says something about the God we serve. The Greek word used here for “abide” is the same one used in John 15:4. It can also be defined as “to stay, to remain, or to endure.” If we remain in His word, if we continue in him, if we endure in him…we have a promise given in John 15:5. We will bear much fruit. That’s what we want, right? Even after losing our husbands, we still want to do something meaningful. We still long to have purpose. And God says we will. He took our husbands but left us. Why? Because he’s not done with us yet. We can still bring glory to God by how we live and what we do and how we live out grace in the midst of pain to our children and by how we trust God. So we strive and fight to abide in him so that we get this right. This abiding thing is what will make all the difference in our lives. Press into him and trust him, dear friend, knowing that He still has a plan for you.