“but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” Jeremiah 31:3
After losing my husband, I really struggled with how God could truly love me if he would allow such great pain in my life. I knew in my head all the Scriptures about God’s love and even knew that he is the ultimate source of love, but I wrestled with a God who could hurt us so badly and still be for us. Have you been there?
Over time, I came to realize that God is perfectly love, and he knows far more than I do. His end goal for me is not mere happiness; it’s holiness. Therefore, he will allow pain and suffering and trials in our lives in order to make us more like him. Never doubt God’s love for you. He broke perfect fellowship with his son by sending him to this earth in order to redeem you. Jesus died a gruesome death in order to reconcile you to the Father. Never doubt whether or not God loves you; he’s already proven it when he poured his blood out for you on the cross.
After working this out in my heart, I still struggled with something: feeling loved. Knowing you’re loved by God and feeling loved in the day-to-day trenches of life are two very different things. I realized just how much I missed my husband telling me he loved me. Once you’ve gone for months (or years) without the support, encouragement, prayers, and love of your spouse, it’s difficult to feel loved. First of all, remember love is eternal. There won’t be marriage in heaven, of course, but you can still feel loved by your spouse even when he’s left this earth. Live in the light of eternity. Remember that every day in this world brings us closer to being in the presence of our Heavenly Father who loves you more than you can fathom. Finally, sister, walk in light of the truth, not your feelings. Our feelings can be deceptive, but God’s Word is always true. If you have trusted in Christ alone for salvation, you have been marked as a child of God. He loves you and has a plan for you. Walk in that, not your feelings.